I felt like Day Two of the flu. On a day-to-day basis I generally don’t think about my age much, still practicing the delusion that the pretty young woman was actually looking at me not just trying to read the sign behind me. I avoid mirrors and photographers and don’t try to compete with 20 or 30 somethings on a basketball court, all of which makes it easier. However, a few days ago I spent 9 straight hours landscaping a 30x12 raised bed, digging holes in clay-based soil, edging the bed, hauling mulch, and planting the shrubs. Fortunately I was working with a guy, so we served as mutual incentive (“I’m not taking a break if he doesn’t need one.”). The telling part was the next morning. Even though I’d done the 1,000 grams of ibuprofen throughout the workday, the next morning I felt like I had the full blown flu minus the fever and congestion. And I still had 10 shrubs to plant in a hedgerow near the raised bed. I decided 6 would be enough before shuffling inside to the heating pad and a college football game where I watched in wonder as those kids slammed into each other at full speed and simply bounced back up. All I did was plant shrubs four days ago, and I’m just not feeling fully back to that same old guy looking back at me in the mirror I can’t avoid when I shave. I hope all this aging eventually brings the wisdom everyone promises.

Toys of Summer

Yes, I know, the book title was Boys of Summer, but in that book it became apparent that men remain boys and that interest in toys does not diminish as the years accumulate. So the pun is relevant, as last Sunday I stored my MGB for the season. There were dozens of people, mostly ‘boys’ gently, lovingly packing away their cars, boats, and campers for the winter. As we disconnected battery terminals, draped dust covers, and taped ID numbers we seemed deep in our private thoughts despite the busyness in the huge storage barn. This had been the best summer in the 11 years I’ve enjoyed the MG, so the memories of great road trips are more abundant than usual. I always stretch the driving into foliage season, and hanging up the keys back at home until late next April is a bit like hibernating. So many things are seasonal. We might think we’re above those powers with our 21st century technologies and science, but when it comes down to it, the days do get colder and shorter, and we put away our toys of summer.

10/10/10. My parents’ 57th wedding anniversary. Jill and I took them out to dinner to celebrate because time together is more valuable than more stuff they don’t really need. We had a great time on the round trip ride and during dinner. We went back to the site of Lindsay and Joe’s wedding reception, and I was struck by the comparison of the two marriages at opposite ends of the time spectrum. Both couples are in love. With the younger one it is more strikingly apparent, like brilliant sun shining in your face, everything is brighter, sharper, and crisper. With the older couple, it’s still the sun, but rather than the light, it’s more the warmth, a slower, more enveloping sense of comfort, stability, dependability. My parents met at the Champlain Valley Fair on a blind date, and they have returned to the Fair every year since. Dad not only sends flowers on their annual anniversary, he brings three roses on the 10th of every month. It may be cloudy occasionally, but after all these years, the sun is still shining!

Birthday greetings in the age of social media have removed geography, time, and 44 cents! Yesterday I received “many happy returns of the day” from thousands of miles and decades of years away, from former colleagues, relatives, former students, friends of my kids; most of whom I’ve not actually spoken with or seen in person for many years. It was startling to begin the morning with so many surprising, happy greetings. At the other end of the intimacy spectrum, my work team managed to schedule us all off campus for an extended brunch celebration at a family camp in the beautiful hillsides not far from the office. The food, foliage, and friendship made for a delightful escape. Then in the evening family gathered for dinner, wine, and affection. So, Face Book allows geometrically more contacts without traditional limits of time and space or even familiarity. It may be only coded bytes magically transmitted through space, but it is still a manner of reaching out and touching someone. And when those messages recall a time and place when the writer and reader actually were face-to-face, the soul is still there. The Internet will never replace the brunch at camp or the family dinner, but it does let us connect when otherwise we might not. So, if you’re reading this on your birthday, “many happy returns of the day to you!”